Lyrics

“Sir Robin the Brave”

(frog-Robin)
They call me Sir Robin the Brave
And history one day will rave
I’m valiant and daring and noble of bearing
Courageous and gallant, a mountain of talent
No wonder folks curtsy and wave
I’m Robin, Sir Robin the Brave

[spoken]
(Kermit) You’re also a frog.
(Robin) Well, yes, but I can explain that.

(frog-Robin)
My tale is sad, but I will try
To tell it all before I cry
‘Twas long ago and far away
A cold and cheerless winter day
And in my search for deeds to do
To show my bravery through and through
I chanced upon a forest glen
And there I met—an ogre

(Sweetums) Ah-ha!

(frog-Robin)
Its teeth were long, I fear to tell
With muscles strong, dreadful smell
He looked at me, he wished me dead
I looked at him, and then I said

(human-Robin)
They call me Sir Robin the Brave
And history one day will rave
I’m valiant and daring and noble of bearing
Courageous and gallant, a mountain of talent
No wonder folks curtsy and wave
I’m Robin, Sir Robin the Brave

(frog-Robin)
With sword in hand, I circled ’round
He came toward me with mighty bound
But as he charged, I slipped away
He turned to strike, I did not stay
With fearful thrust, I forced him back
And ready for the last attack
I raised my sword for one great lunge
And suddenly—it happened

[Taminella appears and laughs]

(frog-Robin)
A wretched witch, a ghastly hag
With eyes of pitch and dress of rag
She laughed at me and bared a fang
I smiled at her and bravely sang

(human-Robin)
They call me Sir Robin the Brave
And history one day will rave

(Taminella)
You’re valiant and daring and noble of bearing
But wait till I’m through, Sir
A prince? Oh-ho, not you, Sir
I’ll make you a stone or a log
Or maybe Sir Robin the frog

[spoken]
(Taminella) Ah ha. Say, that worked pretty well. Mercy! Makes a cute little frog, doesn’t he?
(Sweetums) Aww, yes. Nice froggy-frog. (laughs) No princey-prince now.
(Taminella) No, Sweetums, he’s not a prince anymore. And not even I could change him back. Oh, don’t look so worried, little froggy. There’s still a way to break the spell. I mean, you just might happen to meet a princess, and she just might befriend you and take you to live in a palace, and someday she just might kiss you. Then you’ll be a prince again. (laughs) It doesn’t seem so likely, though, does it? (laughs)
(Sweetums) Aww, froggy-frog nice. Cute froggy-frog.
(Taminella) Sweetums, you old bunnykins, do you like the froggy?
(Sweetums) Oh yes, yes! Bunnykins like frog!
(Taminella) Why don’t you keep him? He could be your pet, or your friend, your—
(Sweetums) Breakfast!
(Taminella) That too, yes, here. Take him. (Robin jumps onto her head) Ah! Get out of my hair, you wretch! (Robin hops away)
(Sweetums) Aww, froggy-frog hop-hop bye-bye.
(Taminella) Curses! Where’s that ugly little frog gone to? When I find the wretch, he’ll be my ogre’s breakfast for sure.

(frog-Robin, sadly)
I’m valiant and daring and noble of bearing
Courageous and gallant, a mountain of talent
But no one will curtsy or wave
For now I’m Sir Robin the frog

 

“Frogs”

Kermit sings with seven other frogs, in varying shades of green and blue, behind him

(sung by Kermit and a company of frogs)

Sing out for the swamp and sing out for the ooze
The life of a frog is the life you should choose
Sing out for the mud and sing out for the bog
It’s ever so jolly just being a frog

Frog, frog, frog (gulping sound)
Frog, frog, frog

We love the old mud hole, we say that we soak
The feeling’s so good that we just gotta croak
The muck and the mire, the slush and the slime
Are the reasons a frog has a wonderful time

Time, time, time (gulping sound)
Time, time, time (gulping sound)

It’s ever so jolly just being a frog

Frog, frog, frog (gulping sound)
Frog, frog, frog (gulping sound)

It’s ever so jolly just being a frog

Oh what could compare to a day in the swamp
The snakes and the spiders, the cold and the damp [“dahmp”]
I’m fond of the pond, be it ebb tide or flood
I love the old swamp, there’s mud in my blood

Mud, mud, mud (gulping sound)
Mud, mud, mud

Sing out for the swamp and sing out for the ooze
The life of a frog is the life you should choose
Sing out for the mud and sing out for the bog
It’s ever so jolly (ever so jolly, ever so jolly)
Just being a frog

 

“N’I’m Ineteen”

(sung by Princess Melora, played by Trudy Young)

So bow I’m nig, grow I’m nown
I’m algotether all alone

N’I’m ineteen, n’I’m ineteen
By mirthday’s dotay
A gig birl, a loman
A wady, say they

 

“I’m Nineteen”

(Melora) So bow I’m nig, and grow I’m nown
I’m algotether all alone

(Robin) So now you’re big, and now you’re grown
You’re altogether all alone

(Melora, spoken) Wat’s thunderful!

(Melora) N’I’m ineteen, n’I’m ineteen
By mirthday’s dotay
(Robin) You’re nineteen, you’re nineteen
Your birthday’s today
(Melora) A gig birl, a loman
A wady, say they
(Robin) A big girl, a woman
A lady, they say

(Melora) And Humsere there’s wunsome, there humsow must be
(Robin) And somewhere there’s someone, there somehow must be
(Melora) The wunsome who’ll dumsay mean thumbsing to me
(Robin) The someone who’ll someday mean something to me

(sung at the same time)
(Melora) And Humsere there’s wunsome, there humsow must be
          (Robin) And somewhere there’s someone, there somehow must be
(Melora) The wunsome who’ll dumsay mean thumbsing to me
          (Robin) The someone who’ll someday mean something to me

(sung at the same time)
(Melora) N’I’m ineteen, n’I’m ineteen
By mirthday’s dotay
          (Robin) You’re nineteen, you’re nineteen
          Your birthday’s today
(Melora) A gig birl, a loman
A wady, say they
          (Robin) A big girl, a woman
          A lady, they say

 

“Sleep, Sweetums”

(sung by Robin)

Sweetums, lay your ugly head
Down upon your wretched bed
Close your eyes and go to sleep
Rest, you hulking heap
Sweetums is so sweet and cute
Go to sleep, you stupid brute

(double time) Sweetums, lay your ugly head
Down upon your wretched bed
Bunnykins is sweet and cute
Rest, you giant hulking brute

(quadruple time) Sweetums, lay your ugly head
Down upon your wretched bed
Close your eyes and go to sleep
Rest, you giant hulking heap

 

“Sweetums”

[spoken]
(Sweetums) It’s yummy-yummy time. Oh yes, yes, yes. Eat frog time. Get club. Now where froggy go? Ah, there he is.
(Kermit) Wait a minute!
(Sweetums grabs Kermit) Ha, got frog!
(Robin) No, you don’t!
(Sweetums) Oh, there he is, that little frog. Where he go, that dumb old frog?

Sweetums gonna hit and smash
Turn old frog: froggy hash
Sweetums find that frog and mash
Polly-wolly froggy get mighty bash

(Robin) You-hoo!
(Sweetums) Ho ho! There he be
(Kermit) Hi there
(Sweetums) Oh-oh! Now I see
(Robin) I’m here
(Sweetums) What ho! Get ’em how
Polly-wolly froggy gonna get it now

Sweetums get that froggy now
Froggy will be Sweetums’ chow
Sweetums get that frog and how
Polly-wolly froggy get a mighty pow

 

“Anthems of Joy”

(townspeople and frogs) Anthems of joy we sing
Praise to our queen we bring
Joy from the heart does spring
On this great day

(King Rupert II) Today my daughter broke her spell
(frogs) Today a frog became a prince and all is well
(townspeople) Today we crown a loving queen
(Kermit) Today my friend’s no longer green
(Melora) Today you looked into my eyes
(human-Robin) Today we will cherish all our lives

(all) Anthems of joy we sing
Praise to our queen we bring
Joy from the heart does spring
On this great day
On this great day

 

Music and lyrics by Jerry Juhl

“Sir Robin the Brave” sets us up with the conceited hero being knocked down a few pegs (and about six feet). I’ve often thought that there’s a Muppet song for every occasion, no matter how specific; there’s even a song for when a prince gets turned into a frog and needs to tell the tale in song. My first thought: Did Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) steal the whole “Sir Robin the (not-quite-so) Brave” thing from the Muppets (The Frog Prince, 1971)?? All the frogs besides Kermit are named after knights of the Round Table.

“Frogs” is a delightful, catchy anthem to loving who you and are where you’re at. Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like the swamp. I wish these knightly frogs and their radical self-acceptance appeared in more Muppet stuff. (“Will you stop talking about the princess? She’s not even green.”)

“N’I’m Ineteen” is a sweet little love song OK but can we talk about this moment??

Robin is later established in Muppet canon as Kermit’s nephew, so I’ve always thought of him as a kid. But this special was actually his debut, and so if he was a full grown, deep-voiced man before Taminella cursed him, we have to assume that his high voice as a frog is merely due to being so small. So I guess that makes this moment… less weird? I mean, the Muppets are no strangers to Muppet/human flirting, innuendo, and relationships.

I’ll bet “Sleep, Sweetums” could be adapted for when you’re trying to sing someone to sleep who’s resisting with all their might and doesn’t have a full grasp of English (*cough*sisterwithtwotoddlers*cough*).

Now, I doubt I’ll ever be in a situation in life where I’m trying to catch and smash a frog, but I’ve definitely been in a situation involving a sledgehammer and the ugliest porcelain figures I could find at Goodwill. It was a cathartic part of a grieving process, but the next time I need to smash something and it’s allowed to be fun, I just might find myself singing “Sweetums.”

Overall, a lovely, silly Muppet romp. I confess, the songs don’t have a lot of depth to explore, but The Frog Prince will always be an old favorite of mine.